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About Literature / Hobbyist MikaelaUnited States Recent Activity
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In a random moment of conversation
my past conceptions are shattered
as I realize
that I was too

One word, a mere four letters,
changes a landscape decades in the making
decades of self recrimination
self doubt
self inflicted wounds
that have scarred my psyche

and I am vulnerable
once again

Once again I feel their hands
as their lips whisper
sweet lies they think I want
to fulfill their needs
(no, no thank you)
Once again I hear them smile
the aggregate
welcoming me to slate their thirst
(Thanks for the compliment)
Once again I cede to them
their needs should be fleeting
their wants easily filled
(is the water hot enough?)

One word, a measly four letters,
and I have to admit
that it wasn't my fault
I must find a path
to accept them
to accept myself
shattered letters
shattered letters is an attempt to express a recent, unexpected, breakthrough. It may change at some point in the future. I just wanted to get it outfor now. 

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let me go

let me cry
my final tear
let me leave
behind my sorrow
my pain, my fear
for it cripples me

and tomorrow

and tomorrow

and tomorrow

will always be the same
with its violence
it's hatred
it's judgement

it doesn't change
it doesn't learn
It hurts so much
this existence
this life

I hear it outside
and my heart races
my need to hide
to keep away
to stay safe
will not be denied

and my chest hurts
and my legs shake

It hurts so much
why can't you understand
why do I feel
that it's my fault

in here is safer
in here there is only me
so don't push me
because there is nowhere
beyond the rainbow
I will simply
be gone
I'm trying to cope with my anxiety and depression. But the panic has become something new. My desire to stay away from things that hurt has me homebound. 
I can't believe I got a DD! I'm going to have to properly respond to people who commented. However I wanted to give out a great big thank you.

So much.

  • Listening to: my fan
The day overwhelms me as the sun rises,
chasing away the night.
It brings a harsh light that burns me
defacing my skin
that has no defense against it
leaving it spotted and irradiated
and i'm exhausted already
because nothing can fix it
except to stay out of it's rays
stay out of it's light
(that consumes my own)
and hope that it's not cancer

yet my light dims as it struggles
my hope has dwindled to existence
maybe tomorrow I won't hurt
maybe tomorrow  I'll find solace
maybe tomorrow I'll want to wake up

the light brings the day
and brings to light the forsworn
the promises broken
the lies kept
the little white nothings
that make nothing better

as if anything could be left
of this burning husk
deserted in the day

Journal History


TgirlValentine's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
***updated*** SRS is done, though i've now got to get a second surgery to address issues of hte first...which is awesome...and by awesome I mean of course that it effing sucks. rawr.

I'm now on Archive of Our Own (ao3)…

I'm doing some writing on fanfiction(dot)net now at… feel free to visit me there sometime =0) ***mates and princes is re-posted from there****

Recently lost my job which is going to make things a bit more difficult, but i'm choosing to believe that it is all for the best. If you want to help me out feel free to visit my website (… )

Current Residence: Midwest, USA
Favourite genre of music: No favorite. I enjoy rock, pop, classical, new age, etc. I'm loving the FF7 soundtrack
Operating System: Windows7
MP3 player of choice: my phone more often then not
Favourite cartoon character: She-ra, He-man, THUNDERCATS!
Personal Quote: I"m not saying, i'm just saying is all.

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jamesperez14 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
just sent you a note in case it doesn't show up on the dashboard... hope things are good.. ;)
LpsMihai Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014
Hello , nice profile :) 
NakedImages Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Very nice images and writings.....
TgirlValentine Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
well thank you! not many take time to read. I appreciate it!
NakedImages Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I always read.....sometimes before I look at pictures.....
TgirlValentine Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
lol well that puts you way ahead of the curve!
(1 Reply)
SonallyrlzKC Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014
Thanks for faving!
TgirlValentine Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! I thought it was perfect!
SonallyrlzKC Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014
Heh Yeah… Sweating a little... A lot of Sonic fans should be like that...
TgirlValentine Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I read mostly twilight and potter fanfictions myself however fanfiction is about creativity...about "what-if's"'s silly to think that is confined to "cannon". SOOO love this stamp. 
(1 Reply)
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